Disclaimer and Waiver of Liability: This site is provided to you free of charge (other than what you normally pay to access the Internet) and carries no warranty, express or implied. You must know how to browse websites to use VikingVan.com and VikingsTailgating.com. Any psychological damage that results from the use of this site is the complete responsibility of you, the web surfer. The website VikingVan.com and VikingsTailgating.com is in no way endorsed by the National Football League (NFL), the Minnesota Vikings (Barroo, Barroo), or it's players or affiliates.
Continued use of this site indicates your complete understanding and acceptance of this agreement. We repeat, continued use of this site indicates your complete understanding and acceptance of this agreement.
FOR THE MOST PART, THIS SITE IS FOR FUN
No harm is meant to any celebrities mentioned here, hopefully they are laughing with us.
However, terrorists can go piss up a rope.
All items here are the opinion of the writer, virtually all things here are fictitious, or meant to be. Emails to VikingVan.com or VikingsTailgating.com from packer fans will be used to our advantage. Any similarities to real people, alive or dead, are purely coincidental. Names have been changed to protect the ignorant. Any and all explicit photos that you own are property of the VikingVan, so hand them over. Void where prohibited. Women tailgating at the VikingVan are entitled to a free groping by the commissioner. Allergy alert: May contain peanuts and/or nutmeg, but we doubt it. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to approval. Printed on un-recycled dead trees and we're proud of it.
Apply only to affected area.
May be too intense for some viewers. See the other side of this web page for
additional details. For recreational use only. All models over 18 years of
age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts
inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without
notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if
e-mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of
agreement. For off-road use only. packers suck! As seen on TV.
Many suitcases look alike. One size fits all. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco
ingredients. Food will be hot after heating. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem to
be right for you. Slippery when wet, but be gentle. For office use only. Not affiliated with
the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Not-edited for television. Keep
cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was
current at time of printing. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental,
or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error, or failure to
perform. At participating locations only.
We are not alcoholics, we are drunks, alcoholics go to meetings. Remember you can't drink all day long if you don't start drinking in the morning.
If any provision of this agreement is found to be invalid or unenforceable, then the invalid or unenforceable provision will be stricken from this agreement without affecting the validity or enforceability of any other provision. (confused yet?)
Penalty for private use. We'd like to see your private use. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.
VikingVan has not been studied for multiple sexual attempts per visit.
Discuss your medical conditions and medications with your doctor to ensure
VikingVan is right for you and that you are healthy enough for sexual activity. Do not
write below this line. Falling rocks. Low-flying planes. Lost ticket pays
maximum rate. Do not cross state line with a duck on your head. Your cancelled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp
here. Objects in mirror are actually behind you. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection.
(we think) Be sure each
item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher
west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families not eligible. Beware of
dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited
time offer; call now to ensure prompt delivery. Sleep naked. You must be present to win. Guns
kill people like a spoon made Kirstie Allie fat. SUV's do not drive
themselves. No
passes accepted for this engagement. Processed at location stamped in code at
top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in well-ventilated
area. Keep away from fire or flame.
Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. NO Canadian
coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone.
Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. Lift shirt
before taking pictures. No anchovies unless
otherwise specified. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then
pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Emails
collected, but collect dust. Phishing is for phools. Some of
the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes
only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Decision of
judges is final. This supersedes all previous notices. All of this is
simply silliness for you to waste your time reading. Then again, that's what
makes up 90% of television, too. If you are sucked into paying a large amount of
money to have 100 channels and still have nothing to watch, then you will
understand. No defamation or any other legal terms are intended. This disclaimer
is a perfect example of why we need tort reform. Lawyers will sue over anything
and we have to put in long-winded disclaimers to cover our asses.
This is humor, or at least, an attempt at humor.
We laugh at ourselves more than anyone else.
If you are offended, it is very likely that you didn't "get it" in the way it was intended.
If you don't find this site funny, if it does not appeal to you, let me introduce you to the small "X" in the top right corner of your screen, just like the power button on the radio or television, it can be utilized at any time please click it, and don't come back.
Again: Continued use of this site indicates your complete understanding and acceptance of this agreement.
For those of you that need things spelled out:
We are not racist, sexist, homophobic, or even Nazis. We have friends from virtually every ethnic group, religion, social status, sexual orientation, financial status, country, marital status, and level of intoxication. We have friends of most every weight, height, appearance, intellect, musical preference, political view, background, foreground, circumcised or not. We do get along with packer fans and we even like, but not love, Canadians!
AND WE ALL LAUGH TOGETHER!
God Bless America!
PS – No animals were harmed in the making of this site! (Unless you count Omar)